'A few days ago, I was walking downtown. A man walked toward me, his face
stubbled, his soiled hands clutching plastic shopping bags. An
oversized jacket hung loose and undone from his thin frame. As we passed
each other, a low voice spoke out. “Nice legs mommy.” ' - Ann Cinzar
The writer talks about how she enjoyed this comment more than she should have, claiming she has hit rock bottom. Personally, I believe that there is nothing wrong with enjoying a compliment, whoever it may be from. I have to admit that my reaction to cat-calls is totally controlled by my mood. On a bad day, I might be tempted to flip off (UK: sticking your middle finger up at) my unwanted admirer, but on a good day, I will have a little giggle to myself, possibly even giving my attention - giver a cheeky smile as I walk off!
That said, it can be incredibly annoying when you're pregnant. Never before in my life has a complete stranger made it their mission to touch my swollen belly, or have my Dad's friends been so interested in invading my personal space to lovingly stroke my ever-growing bump. Thanks to my partner's Mum, I acquired a handy top, saying 'HANDS OFF THE BUMP!'. This is incredibly helpful if you feel as awkward as I did, trying to explain that as much as I was happy with my pregnancy, I simply did not wish to be caressed (thanks very much)!
The advice from the writer's friend was to enjoy the attention from the public, as you become invisible after having your second child. Personally, I won't know if this is true until I (possibly) have another. In the same breath, some of my Mummy friends have told me of this inevitability and warn that personal time is so very precious; not to waste it while I still have it. Although I am currently a Mother of 1, I have faced a similar experience.
During my pregnancy, the amount of attention I received was tenfold the usual, and I never ran out of a conversation topic when it came to my personal pregnancy experiences... Everyone has their views and most are interested in what it was like for me, even if they had no plans to make mini-mes themselves. However, after my little one was brought into this world as her own little person, suddenly I felt invisible. All the focus was switched over to this little miracle, and I felt somewhat ignored. Those 9 months of riding the roller-coaster of emotions (a result of the hormones coursing through my body) felt irrelevant.
Everyone did congratulate me, I have to say, but this little thing only hours old had stolen my limelight - Look at how well she had done! What a beautiful baby! Wow look at how much hair she has! .... The compliments were endless. Where was my well done, where were my balloons and presents? Her wardrobe was more extensive than my own (so frustrating as mine diminished to only a few items over my pregnancy).
I am in no way saying that all this attention was not well-deserved. We had to have a growth scan for mini-me, she was so small but healthy and remained tiny at birth, although she was overdue. We were asked 'was she premature' she was that tiny. I am so proud of my little one. She is an incredible character and brings a smile to the most sour face.
But I don't want to become invisible. I don't want to be seen as just 'her Mum'. I'm struggling to remain my own person and avoid the tags that come with motherhood, I don't want to be known as a 'stay at home mum' or a 'housewife'. . . So for me at least, writing this blog is one way to reclaim a fraction of my own life. The freedom that comes with writing is immense, like a weight has been lifted from my heavy shoulders and the spark in my eyes and the fire in my sassy comments is back.
What makes you feel like your own person, as More than a Mum? Let us know and we promise we'll do our best to get back to you.
XOX
Mums on Mars
Sources:
http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/do-you-become-invisible-when-youre-a-mom
No comments:
Post a Comment