Family Support - A Help or Hindrance?

After living with my partner's family in an overcrowded house (9 of us including mini-me in a 3 bedroom house) for several months, it was a welcome relief to find our own space.

Whilst family support is absolutely amazing and I will always be grateful for all the help and advice we've been offered, it is so refreshing to be my own person in my own house. Having a private garden was such a blessing for me - I live for the outdoors and get easily stressed when I'm cooped up (even experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder in the Winter).

Over time I have come to realise that there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are still living at home, or with your other half's family. We all need support, and the guilt of other people looking after my child used to consume me. I will admit that I found it profoundly difficult to get used to my first child being around: the demand of constant supervision, seeming sometimes surgically attached to my mini-me, the days spent at home on the couch and frequent, regular feeds.... It was simply all too much.

However! It really does get easier over time - the feeding routine does become just that - a routine and after about a month it feels natural, second nature. As for the over-attachment, that is what the support is for. I can never thank my family and friends enough for being on hand whenever I am having ' a moment' and desperately need to confide in them. 

It's also a good idea to set a day for grandparent time. This allows you to take some time off and balances out time spent with extended family. If you can't stand your in-laws/other half's family, this is a great opportunity to calm the disputes - if you've already arranged the day, no one can claim they don't get enough time with their grandchild or that they have them too much.

As for making sure everyone gets an equal amount of time with Mini Me, I found that setting up my calendar with a separate column for each set of Gradparents was incredibly effective. Noting down when they spent time with my daughter and how much time it was, I kept track of who was seeing her when. If you really had to, I suppose the calendar could be shown to over-zealous Grandparents (proving that their time is equal to the other set of Grandparents when regarding their grandchild).