We have all heard that too much TV and computer time will give you 'square eyes'. But how much of the saying is true? Is it really bad for us, or are we worrying over nothing? After all, just about every one enjoys a little TV time.
How Much is Too Much?
From a study I can't honestly remember the details of, it was found that more braincells are used sleeping than when watching TV. This is probably because when we dream, our brains are creating images, audio and sensations from our imaginations, and also from our everyday experiences, using this information to create something out of the ordinary. BUT... When we are watching TV, every base is covered except for sensation of touch/smell - the image is there, the audio is there and a storyline is provided, so what is there left to think about?
In my view, it depends on what you are watching. A documentary offers up valuable facts and figures - exercising our memory and ability to learn visually and through audio. A regular soap or TV programme, although quite possibly not as rich in facts, may also help us learn through the actions of others - in soaps the storylines often are shaped around personal relationships and how these mix into one another, interrupting or complimenting or... whatever. (I don't watch soaps as you can tell.)
So, a regular soap may usually last 45mins - 1hr, and a Documentary can be anywhere from a few minutes (clips or short factual stories) to several hours. When is it too much? What is the optimal time that is 'safe' to spend infront of the screen? Let's go back in time to my childhood to consider...
My Dad used to allow us to watch a movie a day, as long as we got up after I think it was half an hour to do 100 jumping jacks. This might sound regimental, but it was really quite fun, and prevented me (short term) from becoming a 21st century couch potato. (I am now at the perilous edge of becoming a true couch potato.)
How much should you watch according to your age?
I don't think age makes much of a difference, although an old lady may be predisposed to watching her favourite shows at set times (maybe there is not much else she can do with limited mobility) and a toddler would most likely get bored after 5 minutes. Really, it's down to how much time you want to spend infront of the TV - virtual life, or real life?
Can TV Be Educational?
Yeah sure, in short - but again, it does depend on what you watch (no further explanations needed methinks).
Should TV Be Included In Family Time?
Yes and no.... It's a tricky one. If you are a TV dinner family and it is a tradition, this will be a familiar cycle your family have settled into. The danger with this is that conversation time is lost on TV time - eating away at relationships and even causing arguments (because so-and-so killed whoever, or anything like that in say, sitcoms). Real life is very rarely as exciting as the imaginary lives made up by scriptwriters, but they never will be unless you STOP WATCHING TV just long enough to experience life! (You don't have to take it from me, just go outside for a day and see what happens - I can guarantee you will feel a lot better than if your but had been planted on the couch instead).
Of course, TV is a luxury and we all enjoy our luxuries, but this word needs to be heeded - Lux-u-ry! Not necessity. Basically, as long as your treat your TV time as actual TREAT time, it will all be fine ;)
Sunday, 9 October 2016
Family Support - A Help or Hindrance?
After living with my partner's family in an overcrowded
house (9 of us including mini-me in a 3 bedroom house) for several
months, it was a welcome relief to find our own space.
Whilst family support is absolutely amazing and I will always be grateful for all the help and advice we've been offered, it is so refreshing to be my own person in my own house. Having a private garden was such a blessing for me - I live for the outdoors and get easily stressed when I'm cooped up (even experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder in the Winter).
Over time I have come to realise that there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are still living at home, or with your other half's family. We all need support, and the guilt of other people looking after my child used to consume me. I will admit that I found it profoundly difficult to get used to my first child being around: the demand of constant supervision, seeming sometimes surgically attached to my mini-me, the days spent at home on the couch and frequent, regular feeds.... It was simply all too much.
However! It really does get easier over time - the feeding routine does become just that - a routine and after about a month it feels natural, second nature. As for the over-attachment, that is what the support is for. I can never thank my family and friends enough for being on hand whenever I am having ' a moment' and desperately need to confide in them.
It's also a good idea to set a day for grandparent time. This allows you to take some time off and balances out time spent with extended family. If you can't stand your in-laws/other half's family, this is a great opportunity to calm the disputes - if you've already arranged the day, no one can claim they don't get enough time with their grandchild or that they have them too much.
As for making sure everyone gets an equal amount of time with Mini Me, I found that setting up my calendar with a separate column for each set of Gradparents was incredibly effective. Noting down when they spent time with my daughter and how much time it was, I kept track of who was seeing her when. If you really had to, I suppose the calendar could be shown to over-zealous Grandparents (proving that their time is equal to the other set of Grandparents when regarding their grandchild).
Whilst family support is absolutely amazing and I will always be grateful for all the help and advice we've been offered, it is so refreshing to be my own person in my own house. Having a private garden was such a blessing for me - I live for the outdoors and get easily stressed when I'm cooped up (even experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder in the Winter).
Over time I have come to realise that there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are still living at home, or with your other half's family. We all need support, and the guilt of other people looking after my child used to consume me. I will admit that I found it profoundly difficult to get used to my first child being around: the demand of constant supervision, seeming sometimes surgically attached to my mini-me, the days spent at home on the couch and frequent, regular feeds.... It was simply all too much.
However! It really does get easier over time - the feeding routine does become just that - a routine and after about a month it feels natural, second nature. As for the over-attachment, that is what the support is for. I can never thank my family and friends enough for being on hand whenever I am having ' a moment' and desperately need to confide in them.
It's also a good idea to set a day for grandparent time. This allows you to take some time off and balances out time spent with extended family. If you can't stand your in-laws/other half's family, this is a great opportunity to calm the disputes - if you've already arranged the day, no one can claim they don't get enough time with their grandchild or that they have them too much.
As for making sure everyone gets an equal amount of time with Mini Me, I found that setting up my calendar with a separate column for each set of Gradparents was incredibly effective. Noting down when they spent time with my daughter and how much time it was, I kept track of who was seeing her when. If you really had to, I suppose the calendar could be shown to over-zealous Grandparents (proving that their time is equal to the other set of Grandparents when regarding their grandchild).
Saturday, 8 October 2016
Is Having Money Everything?
Money is important, however can it really answer everything? Can it make you happy and keep you that way? Having had money issues in the past as well as enjoying the luxuries that come with it, we explore why money is important, how much of it you need to survive and be happy, and when you can have too much.
A friend of my partner's has treated us to takeout and lunch out. £20 is nothing to him, yet to us that is a lot to be spending on a treat. He admitted to us that he is throwing his money around, not knowing what to do with it.
On the other hand, I used to have a very demanding friend, who claimed she couldn't afford to spend more than £10 a month and wouldn't catch a bus with me when I was too tired to walk. It turned out she was more than slightly full of it as the next day she put pictures up of her new tattoo (we are no longer friends needless to say).
Either way, money can be an issue whether you have too much of it or too little. Seeing these mansions people buy on TV on shows like 'A Place in the Sun' and millionaires who buy diamond collars for their dogs is insane... Then walking into town I may spot a homeless person with a cardboard sign... I once witnessed countless people walking ignorantly past a man sitting in an entryway on a corner in London. He had no shoes, an overgrown beard and dirty clothes, his toenails were actually black (most likely from the cold). Both extremes are equally shocking.
If you have enough of it, money isn't a worry - you don't have to think about bills, save for Christmas or any other celebration and you can do pretty much any activity you fancy (or travel to any place you fancy).
However, it's not 'all good in the hood' as we like to say... Money can change people - making them become more narcissistic and self-absorbed.
My Example
So, taking me and my partner as 'examples', I can tell you that we are not terribly short on cash, but neither is it 'growing on trees' for us. After our last spot of bills, my partner told a friend we couldn't go out as we had "money pouring out of our ears". I think it's not so bad though - we appreciate what we do have, it's rewarding when we have saved and going out somewhere special really is an occasion. We still treat ourselves and our daughter, and want for nothing except maybe some more outings. Saying that though, we probably wouldn't have the time even if we did have the money!
My Parents
They are pretty well off, and as my Dad travels a lot for work usually he will take one of the family with us. We went with him (and my family) to The States to visit family a few months back - it was awesome! At this point, eating fien food (Sainsbury's best!) and flying to hot places - I would say I would definitely enjoy splashing more cash. However, it is generous but annoying when I am offered stuff by my Dad - 'Can I pay for..' 'I'll give you some money' becomes a little irritating, after all I am an adult and would like to be able to say 'No don't worry about it' but more often than not I end up accepting simply because I am short on cash.
Money = Happiness (???)
Does it really though? Yeah, there is limitless amount of things you can buy with it, maybe even friendship - but it never lasts. Your friends will become more demanding and less grateful, your perks will become mundane and every day and you will get bored of splashing it about (like a kid with a water gun!). Eventually, when everything is metaphorically soaked in money, it gets damp and dull.
What do you think? Can Cash make Happiness? Let us know in the comments below!
A friend of my partner's has treated us to takeout and lunch out. £20 is nothing to him, yet to us that is a lot to be spending on a treat. He admitted to us that he is throwing his money around, not knowing what to do with it.
On the other hand, I used to have a very demanding friend, who claimed she couldn't afford to spend more than £10 a month and wouldn't catch a bus with me when I was too tired to walk. It turned out she was more than slightly full of it as the next day she put pictures up of her new tattoo (we are no longer friends needless to say).
Either way, money can be an issue whether you have too much of it or too little. Seeing these mansions people buy on TV on shows like 'A Place in the Sun' and millionaires who buy diamond collars for their dogs is insane... Then walking into town I may spot a homeless person with a cardboard sign... I once witnessed countless people walking ignorantly past a man sitting in an entryway on a corner in London. He had no shoes, an overgrown beard and dirty clothes, his toenails were actually black (most likely from the cold). Both extremes are equally shocking.
If you have enough of it, money isn't a worry - you don't have to think about bills, save for Christmas or any other celebration and you can do pretty much any activity you fancy (or travel to any place you fancy).
However, it's not 'all good in the hood' as we like to say... Money can change people - making them become more narcissistic and self-absorbed.
My Example
So, taking me and my partner as 'examples', I can tell you that we are not terribly short on cash, but neither is it 'growing on trees' for us. After our last spot of bills, my partner told a friend we couldn't go out as we had "money pouring out of our ears". I think it's not so bad though - we appreciate what we do have, it's rewarding when we have saved and going out somewhere special really is an occasion. We still treat ourselves and our daughter, and want for nothing except maybe some more outings. Saying that though, we probably wouldn't have the time even if we did have the money!
My Parents
They are pretty well off, and as my Dad travels a lot for work usually he will take one of the family with us. We went with him (and my family) to The States to visit family a few months back - it was awesome! At this point, eating fien food (Sainsbury's best!) and flying to hot places - I would say I would definitely enjoy splashing more cash. However, it is generous but annoying when I am offered stuff by my Dad - 'Can I pay for..' 'I'll give you some money' becomes a little irritating, after all I am an adult and would like to be able to say 'No don't worry about it' but more often than not I end up accepting simply because I am short on cash.
Money = Happiness (???)
Does it really though? Yeah, there is limitless amount of things you can buy with it, maybe even friendship - but it never lasts. Your friends will become more demanding and less grateful, your perks will become mundane and every day and you will get bored of splashing it about (like a kid with a water gun!). Eventually, when everything is metaphorically soaked in money, it gets damp and dull.
What do you think? Can Cash make Happiness? Let us know in the comments below!
Fake Friend Clearout
For those of us who have Facebook, we know that it's all too easy to end up with a backlog of somewhat shitty friends. Not a lot, but enough that you have to do a clear-out every now and then. I call it the 'fake friend clearout'.
Having done one today, I can say there is a weight off my shoulders that I didn't even realise was there. It is stressful to try to make time for these people when you get nothing back. Not knowing where you stand is another stress-inducing side-effect of having these people involved in your life.
How To Separate True Friends from Fake Friends
Today I have had arguments with two people I viewed as very good friends. It all started when I was pregnant, with one of my friends visiting me, not realising my predicament. After I told him my news, he became incredibly 'busy' with his 'new lifestyle' (uni). The other friend, who I hadn't seen for years, paid me a visit and afterwards declared that he had feelings for me, whilst claiming my partner was possessive as he obviously was upset about this.
The thing is, in both of these scenarios it became somehow my fault that my friends didn't have time for me or simply didn't want to make time. IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT if you have made an effort for ungrateful people. As long as you put your money where your mouth is, and don't become a hypocrite, they should make the same effort for you as you do for them.
There is another person I thought I was good friends with who doesn't return any of my messages. It could be that they have changed phone numbers, but the thing is with this great online world, we can see when messages are recieved and read, so I know he has seen everything I sent him on social media.
Saying all this, I do have a busy life with my little family, and I don't have the spare time I used to - but that doesn't mean I have to become a total recluse. Too many people use their children as an excuse not to go out these days. Yes, you have kids, yes you are a busy parent, and yes you have responsibilities and priorities - but so do all of us! Even without kids, life can be hectic and demanding of your time.
The Bottom Line
It's not what you have, but how you use it: The same can be said for how we CHOOSE to spend our time. I can be caring for my daughter, and still go out for lunch with a friend, thus keeping my priorities in order as well as making time for others. It is my personal belief that no-one is 'too busy' for their friends, just unwilling to set aside time.
Having done one today, I can say there is a weight off my shoulders that I didn't even realise was there. It is stressful to try to make time for these people when you get nothing back. Not knowing where you stand is another stress-inducing side-effect of having these people involved in your life.
How To Separate True Friends from Fake Friends
- Message or text them
- Ask to meet up
- Make a house call
- Phone regularly
Today I have had arguments with two people I viewed as very good friends. It all started when I was pregnant, with one of my friends visiting me, not realising my predicament. After I told him my news, he became incredibly 'busy' with his 'new lifestyle' (uni). The other friend, who I hadn't seen for years, paid me a visit and afterwards declared that he had feelings for me, whilst claiming my partner was possessive as he obviously was upset about this.
The thing is, in both of these scenarios it became somehow my fault that my friends didn't have time for me or simply didn't want to make time. IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT if you have made an effort for ungrateful people. As long as you put your money where your mouth is, and don't become a hypocrite, they should make the same effort for you as you do for them.
There is another person I thought I was good friends with who doesn't return any of my messages. It could be that they have changed phone numbers, but the thing is with this great online world, we can see when messages are recieved and read, so I know he has seen everything I sent him on social media.
Saying all this, I do have a busy life with my little family, and I don't have the spare time I used to - but that doesn't mean I have to become a total recluse. Too many people use their children as an excuse not to go out these days. Yes, you have kids, yes you are a busy parent, and yes you have responsibilities and priorities - but so do all of us! Even without kids, life can be hectic and demanding of your time.
The Bottom Line
It's not what you have, but how you use it: The same can be said for how we CHOOSE to spend our time. I can be caring for my daughter, and still go out for lunch with a friend, thus keeping my priorities in order as well as making time for others. It is my personal belief that no-one is 'too busy' for their friends, just unwilling to set aside time.
Sunday, 2 October 2016
Animals and Children
Previously, I would have said
animals and children don’t mix, but the joy in my daughter’s face when she sees
any animal shows me that kids really do love animals. To be fair, they don’t
know how to handle correctly (unless taught – and usually only older children
are really good) and especially young children could accidentally hurt animals
as they don’t realise how gentle they have to be.
However, my 9 month old
daughter can be gentle when we tell her to be. I was very lucky – she could stroke
a little hamster without harming it (under close adult supervision, of course),
but not all children are like this.
I believe that you can successfully
mix animals and children, as long as they can both be taught to respect each
other. From personal experience, I would recommend dogs as they can be trained
to be gentle with children, and can be tolerant of heavy handling (for
instance, when a child is learning they may pull fur or even hit the animal).
Parenting
As a parent, I wouldn’t want to
get a pet for my child until she is old enough to understand how to correctly
handle and care for it. This is simply because I have seen so many animals
become neglected and unwanted, with parents saying that they originally got the
animal for their children, but they bite/don’t handle well/ children don’t look
after them.
“When people are going to get a
puppy or kitten I always think they should be small enough together that they
can grow up together. I do like the idea of them learning together. However,
the kids have to be old enough to know not to hit or pull the animal around.
That’s why I think the perfect age is 3 or 4 years old to start off with pets.”
Pets as Presents: Agree or
Disagree?
Agree:
“I don’t see why not” What about
for kids? “I don’t really know.”
“Yeah you can get them, a pet is
a present. You can buy a pet as a gift can’t ya. But if my Mum came home with a
dog I would be over the moon. Some kids do look after the family pets well.”
“My Mum got a French Bulldog for
her birthday. Now she is one of the family.”
Disagree:
“They’re not for Christmas, they’re
forever”
“An adult is old enough to know
that they are for life, but a child wouldn’t.”
“I disagree. A lot of parents get
them for a Christmas present, for the kids.”
Friendships - Keeping Them Alive
Some fizzle away over time, or are suddenly cut off for specific reasons and others come and go. All friendships are different, but I have found a clear pattern which has emerged over the course of my pregnancy and after birth.
The sad truth is, a lot of your friends probably won't stick around (or at least not as much as they used to).
Staying in the Loop
Do at least one of these every day and you are sure to keep yourself in the loop with social trivia and keep friendships strong. This way, you will discover who your true friends are as the ones who don't want o make the effort for you will no longer have the excuse 'but you're busy'. It's also great to stay up to date with everyone else's lives - they could be busy with their own little ones and be finding it tough to make free time for others, too.
The sad truth is, a lot of your friends probably won't stick around (or at least not as much as they used to).
Staying in the Loop
- text
- facebook or use other social media
- phone
- visit
Do at least one of these every day and you are sure to keep yourself in the loop with social trivia and keep friendships strong. This way, you will discover who your true friends are as the ones who don't want o make the effort for you will no longer have the excuse 'but you're busy'. It's also great to stay up to date with everyone else's lives - they could be busy with their own little ones and be finding it tough to make free time for others, too.
Hair and Beauty: Men's Trends
From the man-bun to hair braiding, hairstyles for men are continuously evolving and changing, becoming more and more elaborate. As of last year the man braid has become the new thing to do.
Using the hashtag #manbraid, men have been proudly posting photos on instagram. Some of these are incredibly intricate styles, using designs such as french braids and waterfall braids. From female perspective, most are beautiful styles which I would wear myself, but most do not look attractive on a man to me. Others may disagree.
The responses to this new trend are mixed; some appreciate the skill needed to do these hair styles, whilst others laugh when they see these men's efforts, saying that they don't suit them at all. One 17 year old guy I know believes that "Braids are more of a woman's style". I have to say, I do agree with him. however, I am a fan of corn rows and some of these styles do actually look quite good. thinking about it, this is not a new development - Native Americans have been braiding their hair for centuries - whether they be male or female. It just took us a while to catch up to the trend.
Just Some of the Styles...And a few comments from observers
Style 1
"It just doesn't look right. It's not like a proper braid, it just looks like he has his hair jelled up."
"It looks strange"
Style 2
"That just looks like a woman's style"
"That looks like a girl"
Style 3
"it looks like he's got a tyre track on his head"
"disgusting!"
"incredibly effeminate"
"personally I don't see the point. It's obscure"
another male simply states 'No!'
Sources
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3249120/New-hair-trend-sweeping-Instagram-sees-hipster-men-braiding-locks-elaborate-plaits.html
http://therighthairstyles.com/20-cool-looks-with-braids-for-men/
Using the hashtag #manbraid, men have been proudly posting photos on instagram. Some of these are incredibly intricate styles, using designs such as french braids and waterfall braids. From female perspective, most are beautiful styles which I would wear myself, but most do not look attractive on a man to me. Others may disagree.
The responses to this new trend are mixed; some appreciate the skill needed to do these hair styles, whilst others laugh when they see these men's efforts, saying that they don't suit them at all. One 17 year old guy I know believes that "Braids are more of a woman's style". I have to say, I do agree with him. however, I am a fan of corn rows and some of these styles do actually look quite good. thinking about it, this is not a new development - Native Americans have been braiding their hair for centuries - whether they be male or female. It just took us a while to catch up to the trend.
Just Some of the Styles...And a few comments from observers
Style 1
"It just doesn't look right. It's not like a proper braid, it just looks like he has his hair jelled up."
"It looks strange"
Style 2
"That looks like a girl"
Style 3
"it looks like he's got a tyre track on his head"
"disgusting!"
"incredibly effeminate"
"personally I don't see the point. It's obscure"
another male simply states 'No!'
Sources
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3249120/New-hair-trend-sweeping-Instagram-sees-hipster-men-braiding-locks-elaborate-plaits.html
http://therighthairstyles.com/20-cool-looks-with-braids-for-men/
Saturday, 1 October 2016
Welcome Back!
It's been a while, but we are back as of today! Now, I am not saying that we will religiously post every single day all the topics that we have planned out, but we will do our best to keep up with the blog and cover the main things.
So, in our time off we have decided to start up the new Agony Aunt - making it possible for you to speak directly to us (you can email directly or just comment on a post) and we will publicly post our response. This tool will be available once to twice a week (and possibly more if it is a success).
We have also started work on some Halloween projects which can be fun for youds, and we've also built up a collection of reading material you can either buy yourself, or read about on here. There are some interesting theories about time management, fashion strategies to get the most out of your garments and (new) interpretation of dreams.
In short, there are a few exciting new topics and tutorials coming up, but the layout and everything on the blog we have decided to leave just the same - why fix something that isn't broken ;)
THANK YOU FOR READING!
So, in our time off we have decided to start up the new Agony Aunt - making it possible for you to speak directly to us (you can email directly or just comment on a post) and we will publicly post our response. This tool will be available once to twice a week (and possibly more if it is a success).
We have also started work on some Halloween projects which can be fun for youds, and we've also built up a collection of reading material you can either buy yourself, or read about on here. There are some interesting theories about time management, fashion strategies to get the most out of your garments and (new) interpretation of dreams.
In short, there are a few exciting new topics and tutorials coming up, but the layout and everything on the blog we have decided to leave just the same - why fix something that isn't broken ;)
THANK YOU FOR READING!
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